Black Rose
by Whitefeather
Summary: Bellatrix Lestrange is introduced to us as pure evil. Yet does such a thing really exist? How does death and reality effect someone that is pure evil? Or does it? Set after OOTP.


Black Rose  
  
Author's Notes- No one is completely evil. Just... 99.9%,  
perhaps. But that .1% will always come back when you don't  
want it... when the evil is within you. Bellatrix  
Lestrange one-shot; maybe I'll continue or do a sort of  
past reflection piece on her later on. I just love her!  
(Sorry, Sirius ;p)  
  
Also, know this is how I see the characters, not as  
Mrs. Rowling- Lucius as someone who loves power and will do  
anything for more, Narcissa as a strong woman who acts weak  
as to make her husband happy- she isn't content with her  
life, and Bellatrix as someone who married for power- she  
and Lucius are extremely similar in my opinion. She's just  
reckless about it.  
  
Usual disclaimers apply.  
  
~*~  
  
All about me, the wind raced. Long grass, green as the eyes that I saw each night in my dreams, fluttered around my pale skin. Looking up, I saw a simple sky- blue, the hue that symbolized a beautiful day. All around me, Death Eaters- laughing, talking, sitting, running... being. The senior Death Eaters and inner circle had left hours earlier to break Azkaban one final time-to free the loyal Death Eaters trapped. A snort of laughter escaped my lips.  
  
Had I not been the one after that boy a month ago, I would be with them- instead, I get the privilege of waiting this mission out to remind me of the failure I had incurred by allowing the prophecy to be lost. One month of sitting out the missions and morning hell sessions with our Master was my grant for being loyal to Him.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister, Narcissa Malfoy, walking in slow strides over to me. She was beautiful-as beautiful as I once was. Before Azkaban hardened me. But she was simply here because of her husband; not because of herself. Simply here because she was a pure-blood. Her ideals were fine- it's just that her fear of death and pain and her insane visions of right and wrong were so incomplete that it was hard in talking to her.  
  
A single bumblebee landed on my left shoulder blade, and I raised my right hand to stop my sister from interfering. Facing the bee, I shook my shoulder gently so that the small creature fretted. A quick, sharp pain stuck my shoulder blade, and I let out a barely-audible gasp of pain. Funny... how I could have been subject to the yelling of 'crucio' yet hours before but still feel pain from a single prick. The bumblebee flew away, slowly, and began to die.  
  
Narcissa glanced from the dying insect to me with a questionable face. Her pristine blue eyes were filled with so many memories... so many I wished only to forget. Without a word, I simply beaconed for her to lay next to me in the long grass; she complied with confusion on her face. My hand arched and grazed over the sting, and with a single flick of my wrist the tiny drop of blood it had caused was gone, along with the small mark, leaving only the pain. Without looking at her, I answered the question. "Why does a bee sting a human, when it knows that it will die?" A gentle glance from her still form. "Does it not know that it will die, or is it simply subject to a single destiny?"  
  
Her face looked up once more to the cloudless sky above us, oblivious to the sudden gale of laughter from a group of young Death Eaters behind us, ones yet to prove themselves. "Why would that bee want to live knowing that it has hurt someone; knowing that it gave its life to hurt? To kill a smaller creature, even?" The trace of a smile vanished from her mouth, and she seemed quite intent on watching the small flock of birds in the sky above. "Why would anyone use their greatest gift to kill another?" She was no longer talking about the bee.  
  
"Because it's their destiny." I answered simply.  
  
Above my small form the bee suddenly couldn't take it. It fell onto my stomach, exposed from the tiny top and bottom piece I was wearing. Picking it up intro my hands, I felt its last movement, then its death. ...the veil, waving in the soft wind, as y cousin fell through with a sudden shudder of death... Letting out a ragged breath, I discarded the small insect. Narcissa watched with a half bored interest- I suppose that when you live with a man who kills house-elves in front of you near every night, a bee doesn't mean anything. "Well, another falls dead in your hands, Bella." I rose my dark eyes to meet her clear ones- once they were the same, I suppose. We did look alike once. Another moment passed. With an archway still in my mind, I answered sharply.  
  
"It died on its own accord."  
  
A delicate snort came from my sister, and she broke eye contact. We both lay next to one another for what seemed like days in the burning heat, watching the sun set slowly far above us. Silence was bliss to me- after thirteen years in Azkaban, why wouldn't it be? Azkaban, where fear and horror ran supreme. Where screams and death ran as freely as in our master's dungeons. I shuddered; even I, the only woman Death Eater, one of the few loyal to him, had nearly broken there.  
  
Shouts and cheers from behind our downed heads meant only one thing- our master had returned from Azkaban with the prisoners taken at the beginning of the summer. Quick hatred for them blossomed- they had spent one month in that god-awful place with no dementors while I had spent thirteen years in that damnable place. And I had gone from loyalty, them from being found guilty. So why was I the one recognized a day perhaps, then thrown aside? A quick look down to my chest brought the answer with a sneer. I was a woman. The only woman Death Eater. Not simply a wife of one, but one in myself. It meant everything. It meant nothing.  
  
Without any bit of warning, Lucius walked over calmly and pulled my sister into a dominating kiss. I couldn't help but let out a laugh and he broke away to give me a look, a traditional Malfoy glare. It worked on just about everyone but me-I'd gotten it far too many times previously. "Lucius... I see how much Azkaban has changed. Aurors just aren't the same as dementors, I suppose-don't you remember last time when we were imprisoned with... oh, I forgot, you simply lied your way out. My apologies, brother in law."  
  
Anger was hidden throughout his features. Unlike me, who when I was angry showed it without any remorse; my brother in law simply would stare. His silky voice spoke to me as though it were full of honey- sweet yet poisonous. "Bellatrix. Forgive me, you were so small that I simply... looked over you." A smirk replaced his glare, and even more hatred shown through mine. I had been overly sensitive about my small form- our lord had often chastised it, and the other inner circle members typically made jokes about my small nature. "Is there a reason for your laugh? ...perhaps..." He paused, looking me over with his trademark smirk blaring into my already pissed off mind. "...perhaps a laugh of jealousy?" Narcissa's clear eyes glazed over like fog, and Lucius let out a snort of laughter not unlike the one his wife had given me when I told her that the bee had died on its own.  
  
Anger flared on my face, and it was obvious to him. I was never much good at hiding my emotions-they always got the better of me. "Lucius, had I ever wanted you, I could have had you. You do remember that our Lord offered me to you first, because our ages and goals were more similar that that of," I glanced quickly to my sister, saw her listening calmly with her fogged eyes, and went on without much pause. "...of our lord. But in case you've forgotten, my brother in law, we both agreed that you needed more of someone who was actually interested in bearing heirs and being a housewife. Someone like my sister here."  
  
I half expected Lucius to slap me across the face, and wasn't even sure if I would berate him for doing so. I knew my temper-so did half the damned world. It was famous; it had taken down many an Auror and innocent. But he simply smiled, turned to my sister, and whispered into her ear. While they spoke in hushed tones, probably about me, I looked about. All around, men back from Azkaban held possessively to their wives and talked in loud tones about the battle. It was pathetic; it reminded me of a bunch of trolls comparing club sizes.  
  
A chill ran down my side, and I turned wildly to see my lord behind me with a dark look across his face. His hand came to rest upon my shoulder, and awful cold spread throughout my body. My eyes fluttered closed and my breathing deepened; and I turned my body completely no kneel before him. My head touched the ground before I opened my eyes slowly to see the bottoms of his robes. Let his hand hadn't left my shoulder, where the bee sting still stung like a small needle through my skin. "...my lord..." I whispered in a raspy voice, trying to force out the awful memories of that morning; praying he wasn't about to continue where he left off.  
  
"Stand, Bella, and face me as I know you are able to." His voice, chilling to the bone, left no room for argument. I stood, and raised my head to match his endless eyes. Eyes which reflected what I once was. Which made me remember my past. The only symbol that he had even been near battle was a small scratch beneath his right eye, easily healed and non painful. The healer I had once been came to life, going over remedies for such minor wounds.  
  
Memories of the healer I once was... when I had gone to St. Mungo's for training years before, after Hogwarts. I had wanted to make something of life, and I knew I had no choices but to join our lord. But I was simply not going to turn out like my sisters had-my year younger sister Narcissa had simply gotten married to another pureblood that I probably should have married, Lucius Malfoy; Andromeda happily married a mudblood, and was forced out of our family; and Kayle married her husband and had her two sons, Regulus and Sirius. With this I knew that I was destined to get married to a pure-blood Death Eater, and I wanted to make sure that I had something to fall back on, to make me valuable. So when they found me and promised me to my husband, I was able to do something. I saved one of the inner circle that was friends with my husband- Severus Snape. And at 17, I was the first woman to have been noticed by our lord. And though it took about four years, I watched and learned- at 21, I was a full-fledged Death Eater. Still having to answer to all the others because I was female, I simply developed a horrid temper and used it. At 22, our master placed me in the inner circle for taking down an Auror named Taylor Brown who had been plaguing us for years.  
  
And here I am, about 15 years later, at 37. No longer young. No longer naïve.  
  
Silently I followed my lord to the small room where the Death Eaters typically awaited orders. I sat opposite him on a large couch, crossed my legs, and brushed a bit of hair aside. It was hard to match his eyes, and I was barely able to keep near them. Finally the silence got to be too hard on me, and I spoke. "My lord, you wished to see me?"  
  
Pathetic.  
  
He let out a low chuckle, and touched my hand once more. It was truly unnerving, but I didn't have the stupidity to attempt to throw it off. And it wasn't the first time-whenever I was in trouble or he was punishing me, he would draw his hands across my shoulders or hands. I'd never been sure if it was to scare me by giving me visions of him taking me, or simply to give me many a chills. But nothing had ever come of it, and for that I could only be glad.  
  
"The attack went well, we only suffered minor casualties." Calm was the only way to describe his voice then. I nodded. There was something he wasn't telling me, obviously-something that I had overlooked perhaps? "Perhaps it is good you were not there." Now there was definitely something wrong. His eyes had shifted color a bit, shining.  
  
"Why so, my lord?" My voice was small, unsure-as though I was a child once more.  
  
He stood suddenly, and moved next to me. He sat at my side, and took my small body into his arms, forcing me to lean upon him. I swallowed what seemed like fear and pure air, nothing more. Content, he brought his face to the side of mine. Terrified, I simply looked forward without blinking. His breath came down warm upon my ear, and he let out a low chuckle with the breath. "Your husband was killed in Azkaban, Bella." My eyes closed, and I turned my head slightly towards my master. One hand moved from my stomach and traced a strand of loose hair from my face. Down to my mouth, where he felt my breath upon his fingertip. Yet none of this mattered- he was dead. I turned away- lost in my mind, lost in thought. I had never truly loved him- truth be told, I had even hated him more than anything. But this impacted everything. He was the only reason I had a place on the inner circle; how would I remain now? And with this, reality hit- where I was, in this compromising situation.  
  
It made sense- he wanted complete power over me, and here he had it. There was nothing I could do- I was trapped. He wanted me to fear him, to forget about my husband; he waned me to prove that he was my master, and not my husband... my late husband. And I would. I opened my eyes, looked into his so close to me, and spoke. "You are my master, not he. My tears are reserved for your death, not his."  
  
As soon as I spoke, my hand flew to my mouth. His eyes narrowed. The veil, blowing, and my cousin looking out laughing at my mistake... I took a deep breath, and opened my mouth. In a quick voice, I attempted to redeem myself. "I mean... my tears are reserved for your failures, my master... I mean..." Confusion settled in, and I gulped down more air. Everything I was saying simply sounded wrong.  
  
"I am not planning on dying anytime soon, and if it weren't for incompetent Death Eaters in my inner circle I would not fail." Red eyes blazed into my grey ones.  
  
I nodded miserably, and he simply took and traced my hand once more. "Had your husband not just died, I would have enjoyed seeing you suffer for those comments Bella. Watch your tongue, my dear; you have no more husbands to protect you from my wrath now." He broke off the connection suddenly, and I fell backwards onto the couch where he had been the second before. "As always, you are leaning on me. if I leave, you fall. Remember that, Bella," His voice ended, and I saw his shadow leave the room. I remained laying there, breathing in and out. It took all my energies to do just this- until finally I was able to sit up and look.  
  
Narcissa and Lucius stood by the doorframe; Narcissa with a look of horror plainly written across her face and Lucius with his trademark smirk. Temper flaring once again, I spoke. "Nothing better to do then stand there and look at a widower, my brother in law? Or perhaps you simply need this room to make more heirs since your own seem to be failing to Potter in everything he does." No movement in his smirk or eyes, it was somewhat unnerving. Typically when I pulled this on him he would yell for hours.  
  
"I simply wanted to offer my condolences to you for your. husband." I sighed heavily. Memories of when my parents were trying to force me upon him for marriage crossed my mind vaguely. "Don't Lucius. We both know all too well that I cared nothing for him. It was simply for him to have someone to take pleasure with, and for me to use to get where I am. If I have no feelings toward him, I doubt you should."  
  
"Well then... I suppose it is only fair to warn you that without him, we have no reason to accept you as one of our circle. You'll no longer have a free ride, Bellatrix. Time to float or sink. And there will be no one there to support you when you fail."  
  
My body joined my eyes in feeling heavy and old. "I never had support."  
  
"We shall see, Angel Bellatrix. We shall be watching with wide eyes." With that he left as suddenly as our master did, leaving Narcissa looking downcast to the floor. I walked past her, and placed a hand on her back. She faced me. "Maybe... maybe you should re-marry. There are enough members of the inner circle that have no wives. And you are the forbidden fruit- any one of them would agree to have you."  
  
We walked together back out to the courtyard, where many more Death Eaters now resided. Many went silent upon seeing me, more gave me looks of incredulity and hatred. I ignored them, and concentrated on my sister. "I have no interest in being a wife any longer, Cissa. I am not going to ride any longer. I will either sink or swim." She nodded, and we both made our way to where we had laid earlier. It seemed like days ago- I certainly felt older by years. Narcissa simply kissed my on the cheek, and went over to her husband and the other members of the inner circle surrounding our lord. Without remorse, I laid back down.  
  
The sun had but a moment until it passed beyond the hills. And I watched as it did, wondering if my husband was with it. With my sisters, Andromeda and Bianca. With Bianca's children, Sirius and Regelus. With everyone else, that I had killed, and that I had watched die shocked.  
  
They say that there is a choice, a choice between what is right and what is wrong. A choice between good and evil. A choice between black and white. A choice between what is right... and what is easy.  
  
I looked up to the sky once more, to the sun which had just fallen behind the hilltops. Another normal day, gone. Another time. Another... another.  
  
Who said it was easy? 


End file.
